Getting Feedback: Good, Bad, and Terribly Ugly

I've been a full-time therapist for 4 months. In the eyes of many, this constitutes as new and I would agree.

As a therapist, I am still learning. I have been getting good feedback from patients, other therapists, the boss, and other professionals in the building pertaining to my performance. As for my personality, I am invested, excited, and happy to share pertinent information to other therapists daily to institute a culture of consistency in patient care and peer-mentorship. There is at least one therapist at the clinic who does not feel like that, at all. And, she thought it necessary to tell me so, even though there was no invitation from me.

The feedback was harsh and painful, rudely delivered, and non-constructive. The information had the potential to be extremely helpful but since its delivery was so poor, it completely cut me down. To add insult to injury, the therapist continued to spread the information to my peers during patient treatment in a public hallway without my presence. Nobody's perfect.

The administrator of the building noticed I was upset and later in the day asked me what happened. Earlier, I had contemplated keeping the information to myself and a few close friends; however, since the therapist took it on herself to spread the news of my insufficiencies, I was not inspired by the fidelity virtue to keep her out of it. But, I didn't use her name. Simply by describing the actions, the administrator was able to identify the therapist. That says something. The therapist has been employed there for many years and everyone knows her well. While it's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

It was a difficult situation to go through as a new therapist at my first job. The therapist is angry with me that I did not go to her first before speaking freely of the situation to our superiors. She has not told me this; I've only heard through hear-say. I am not sorry that I feel this way; I am not sorry for being a sensitive person. I do not subscribe to a culture of make-you-or-break-you hazing from "experienced" co-workers. I believe I would've risked further abuse if I spoke to her regarding my feelings. The tension between us in the treatment setting is high. Thankfully, I have the support of my peers to keep me focused on the day's work.

Getting over a slump

In every job, it is easy to fall into a slump. In our facility, the rehab team has started a weekly journal club where we can check in and do a small in-service to update each other on new techniques and information that we've researched. The act of taking the time to check-in regarding progress towards goals or getting new ideas for treatment activities is uplifting, especially when you feel like you're in a rut. So, in short, go team!

Letter to the Editor - Success!

Since February, I've been advocating for new therapists in New Jersey  (like me!) waiting to get their license. The NJOTA (www.njota.org) have been helpful but it's always important for individuals to be involved in their own advocacy.

I am happy to report that I've been published in the Star Ledger, Asbury Park Press and the Independent Times of Trenton. I also reached out to the Current and the Atlantic City Press.

Here's a photo of my letter in the Asbury Park Press. And here are links to the Star Ledger and the Independent Times of Trenton.

Small steps for big changes :)

Therapeutic Activities

I am an avid yogi and am very excited to share this article from the New York Times. It is a glance inside a yoga studio owned by a married couple who are Orthodox Jews in Israel. It is another example of how yoga is accessible to everyone who wishes to practice. 

Enjoy!

Yoga Poses in Israel - The New York Times

For OTS' with anxiety: Waiting... and waiting... to start work.

I am an obsessive planner. I planned to have a job by graduation: check. I planned to have a place to live close to my work prior to starting: check. I planned to take out appropriate loans to last me through the "predicted" start of work: check (and even a little bit more). So you think I would be capitalizing on my free time for now: Uncheck. What I was not prepared for were the feelings of desolation and loneliness of this "interim" period of "relaxing."

The gist of it is this: I completed Fieldwork on December 6 and graduated on December 15 - woo hoo, party time. I even took a two-day NBCOT prep course in between (it was OK... not life changing, but more on that later, if someone is curious about it). In this period, I waited for my CI to send in my paperwork to school, so I could wait for school to send it to NBCOT. Then I waited 2 weeks for NBCOT to process my paperwork so I could sign up for the test.  I also sent in my state of NJ license application. 

December 15 - January 1 - study time, holiday time, fun times, etc. etc. Oh, and yes - I took a 4 day (over two weekend) PAM Certification course (free of charge through outside circumstances, so how could I pass it up?). Wow, cool, good use of time. 

January 1 - February 10 - study!! all day! 

So, this is where things go awry. In the course, we were advised to study 3 hrs/day, 7 days a week for 4 - 6 weeks. I had ample time to do this, and I even took a small P/T job (only 10 hrs/week). Since my job was as a "fill-in" girl, I was defunked when the main person was able to come in more than expected... hm, leaving me more free time. My anxiety was intense about the test, so I ended up studying 8+ hours a day. Honestly, I can't say if I would have not passed the test if I stuck with the original 3 hr/day plan, but in retrospect it would have been much healthier to do something else besides study all day. I was ornery, crabby, and mean to my boyfriend. And sad, constantly sad, that I wasn't good enough for this test, through 2+ years of graduate education. Obnoxiously anxious.

But, I passed... so why did I immediately feel awful the day after I found out my results? Because there was now, in reality, nothing left to do but wait. Ironically, waiting for the results was the least amount of waiting I did because I took the test on a Monday, and results are posted on a Thursday. That was a planned decision to avoid an emotional breakdown while waiting for the results, obsessing over what I would do if I did not pass. 

Between Valentine's day and today, February 25, I am still waiting to start my job that I have had since December 13. I am waiting  for NJ to "process" my test results, which were sent on 2/14. I am waiting for lab results to come back from my physical (required for work). I am waiting to get another invoice for a money order, then will wait for them to process that. Then I will wait for my license to come in the mail. Then, I can be an OT. I hope to be one by my birthday (3/18).

I lobbied the New Jersey Occupational Therapy Association about this infamous waiting period (rumor has it that the State processing office is notorious for loosing documents, taking forever; in one instance, I learned of a woman who waited 10+weeks from the date of her test for her license to arrive). The woman I spoke with was very nice and helpful, but in essence felt as flustered as me. She began the conversation with "Are you home because you're still waiting for the great state of NJ to send in your license?" Yes. They've tried, still trying, to streamline the process. Everything's a process.

I have not had the guts to add up how much money I have "lost" by not being able to start sooner. (It sounds like a good research project, though, for some MSOT seniors who are not afraid of the results.)

I can't say I wasn't warned, I just wish I had planned a little bit better. 

If you've read this far looking for advice... Don't be like me and too proud to ask for financial help from friends and family if some spending money would help you reduce cabin fever (if possible); try not to let depression/anxiety take over your days of waiting. And most of all, be thankful and grateful that you have a job that you want. That is a luxury worth celebrating every single day. 

Addiction Mangles Families

Two people very close to me have battled heroin/pain pill addiction during their teen years. It was undoubtedly the worst period in our family's lives. Addiction facilitates loneliness, guilt, depression, anger, and disbelief that could knock the wind out of you. And to find out how the addict him/herself feels about all this, then you can ask them, because I can only describe primarily what a family member feels.

An article from the New York Times focuses on the mother of a teenager who lost her life to heroin addiction. If you know or suspect a family member or friend is dealing with someone else's addiction, be compassionate and empathetic. Least of all, don't embarrass them because it is not their fault that their child or loved one has an addiction. Many times, parents are made to feel like that and it makes the aforementioned feelings even worse. Read the article here: Heroin's Small-Town Toll, and a Mother's Grief


OT and Substance Abuse

For those of you visiting this blog for OT reasons, here is a brief yet informative synopsis of OT's role with substance abuse-

Occupational Therapy addresses human occupational performance affected by substance abuse and other mental health conditions (often referred to as "dual diagnosis") for the client experiencing addiction. Using a variety of approaches, an individual can learn how to restructure their cognitive-behavioral system and beliefs about themselves, how to organize their free time, and how to anticipate and manage symptoms that may lead to relapse/abuse. The American Occupational Therapy Association has published various information regarding OT's role with substance abuse on their website: OT's Role with Substance Abuse and Recovery with Purpose

Several studies supporting OT's role with substance abuse have been published in the AJOT:

Moyers, P. A. (1992) Occupational Therapy Intervention with the Alcoholic's Family. American    Journal of Occupational Therapy. 46(2) 105-111.

Peloquin, S. M., Ciro, C.A. (2013) Self-Development Groups Among Women in Recovery: Client  Perceptions of Satisfaction and Engagement. American Journal of Occupational Therapy. (67)1. 82-90

Stoffel, V.C., Moyers, P.A. (2004) An Evidence-Based and Occupational Perspective of Interventions for Persons with Substance-Abuse Disorders. American Journal of Occupational Therapy. (58)5. 570-586.

As always, visit the following websites for more detailed information:

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration - Federal

New Jersey State Addiction Services

Nonprofit NGOs:
National Alliance on Mental Illness and
NAMI in New Jersey

Creative cooking

I learned that I enjoy cooking when I was a volunteer in New York and would host dinners-in for my friends in the neighborhood. The best way for us to eat was buying food at the grocery store with our food stamps, so we had to make it go far. I made up dishes as I went along and had to be creative.

Now that I live with my boyfriend Kyle, I am the primary food provider for two human beings and more to come someday! I've been collecting recipes and meandering my way through keeping food special and yummy as well as healthy for us. An additional challenge is that Kyle and I have unique health needs and are different in size. Figuring out how much to buy, how much to cook, and how to store things so I don't have to go to the grocery store all the time are some of the interesting conundrums I often tackle.

Here are some of the more interesting cooking endeavors I've attempted in the past:

1. Vegan cake - I had  a lot of fun baking a vegan birthday cake from scratch, including icing. However, I probably won't do it again because it required so many ingredients and I don't have the patience for it.. especially since I don't bake too much anyway. But I'm glad I tried it! The cake tasted great. Visit their blog to try out your own stuff.

2. Granola bars  - These are always a winner. I make them often and whomever I gift them to asks for more. The recipe is not difficult, and it lends you opportunity to be creative. I use Pumpkin Flax Seed granola, Agave instead of honey, equal parts chocolate chips and peanut butter chips, and "earth balance" type product instead of butter. I haven't tried it with gluten-free flour yet but that's next. They're easy breezy-delicious-drool-make-more-coffee-to-go-with-these-thanks.



Here are some I'd love to try:

1. Vegan Black Metal Chef - one has to be an experienced cook to follow VBMC because he doesn't provide instruction or measurements. It's just awesome and fun to watch if you appreciate his craft. Hail seitan. \m/

2. Vegan Soul Cooking - Soul food is rich and comforting; vegan food typically isn't. When I live in a functioning kitchen, I look forward to trying out some of the dishes to see if I can slip into food coma and not feel guilty about it.

Happy yummies.

Studying for the NBCOT

Studying for the NBCOT has been a trip. Since graduation on December 15, I have completed a review course, labored over the review book (which is littered with typos), and have looked over two years' worth of my own notes from school. I did well in school - I have a 3.9 GPA and earned A's and B's on all but one of my tests.

Preparing for a standardized board exam is a test of your personal will and self-esteem. I feel confident that my preparation has been adequate, but when I read Facebook comments from my classmates and other students who are preparing, it feels like I haven't done enough, have missed something, or am simply not as worried as I should be.

This is an annoying and cumbersome way to live, so I left one of the main Test Prep groups that was recommended by my teacher; the same teacher who professed in a public forum that her students are incapable of thinking for themselves. (Phooey.) I'll stick by my classmates and try not to let them psych me out.

My test is in two weeks.